Resetting your dysregulated sleep program
I can still recall Siobhan telling me how her sleep had completely fallen apart:
“I’ve lost any control I had over my sleep…
I was never a great sleeper, but now things are just unbearable.
Even when I am completely exhausted, I’ll wake up in the night. Sometimes just an hour after falling asleep, but mostly in the middle of the night.
And then I’m fully awake, fully switched on.
I’ve lost the ability to turn off my brain and fall asleep at night.”
Everyone takes sleep for granted… it’s something we do without having to think about it, a bit like breathing.
Until something happens which turns everything on its head. And at that point, we start worrying about why we can’t sleep normally.
It could be because we have another health condition such as pain or menopause waking us up at night.
…or because we’re going through a difficult time at home or at work and we wake up worrying about life.
For Siobhan, it was none of these… it just happened, she couldn’t remember how or why.
But gradually things had gotten worse.
Until it was terrible.
Loosing control of sleep
The truth is, she hadn’t lost control of her sleep. Because we don’t “control” our sleep very much at all.
What was really happening is that, like millions, she was experiencing ongoing, long-term insomnia…
…And that meant there were several elements at play, together stopping her from getting normal sleep.
One element, in particular, was very powerful in ruining her sleep: her brain’s sleep program had become completely dysregulated.
With a healthy “sleep program,” your brain slowly switches off into sleep when you go to bed, and keeps you asleep until your alarm clock wakes you up in the morning…
Then, your brain switches on, and it’s all systems go for the day!
The brain’s “Sleep Program”
This happens through a complex process involving several signals and hormones. (I’ve simplified this as a program that basically switches on or off for ease.)
A bit like your heating timer at home… It’s programmed to switch your heating on at a certain time and off at certain other times.
But as you start waking up in the middle of the night, things can go off the rails. As your nightly wakes are repeated, the brain starts believing this is the new program you’re asking from it.
So it keeps you awake and wired.
Then, as you lie in bed awake, worrying whether it’s going to be another one of those nights again, you start involuntarily switching your brain on further!
As you worry, you activate stress hormones, which in turn accelerate your heartbeat and your temperature… signalling to your brain that you need to be awake and switched on!
So the brain obeys… Even though it’s not what you want!.
But that’s what it’s picked up!
And so, the brain repeats it… and night after night you have a terrible sleep.
Gradually, your brain becomes better at this pattern. A pattern you don’t want… but the brain believes the exact contrary.
Your brain’s sleep program is dysregulated… It is not the program you want.
A bit like your home heating timer becoming dysregulated and switching your heating on when you don’t want it on, or worse…,not switching the heating on when you really need it!
If your home heating timer was dysfunctional like this… You’d change it right?
Resetting your sleep program
Well, with a brain’s sleep program becoming dysregulated, you need to reprogram it. You need to reteach it when it has to sleep and when it has to be awake.
And this is what I started doing with Siobhan…Even though at first, she was refusing to accept that her sleep problem was a pattern her brain was repeating.
When she came back to see me the following week, she had had the realisation she needed to move forward with sleep retraining.
She recognised that those nightly wakes and staying awake (even though it was not at exactly the same time every single night) this was her brain repeating “the program.”
At that point, I knew she was ready to do everything that was needed to reprogram her sleep and that she would be progressing very quickly.
Looking at your own sleep struggles: can you see how your wakes stem from a dysregulated program?
Sometimes something wakes you up… it happens to all of us.
But a healthy sleep program would get you back to sleep.
A dysregulated sleep program sees it as a switch-on button that’s just been pressed, and it keeps you awake.
Being wired and having a racing brain comes from this brain switching on… and executing the program.
It’s the same with pain, or with menopause!
People who have those without the dysregulated program that comes with insomnia, just get themselves back to sleep.
Realizing your brain’s sleep program is dysregulated takes time.
Beliefs are hard to change.
But the moment you realize, you’ll have taken a massive step!
Today we help hundreds of people reset their sleep program every single month… and spotting the broken pattern is one of those magic milestones on their way to healthy sleep.
It’s not always obvious, but with a bit of time, you’ll recognise your dysregulated sleep program at play!
That is me I wake about 3 am every night
Yes, a lot of people struggle at very very specific times that don’t change each night.
I definitely think I’ve got this problem waking at 3-20 am after just a few hours sleep
Yes it’s such a common component of insomnia – but it doesn’t mean it can’t be undone. In fact, the very fact that it started and has engrained itself is proof that with time and the right routine and habits, you can undo this.
This is exactly my problem! Can you help me?
Hi Lucy! Best way to find out is to head over to our main page and press ‘get started’. This takes you to some questions so we can find out if in your life with your experiences, we are a suitable match for you:)
I really believe this is a fact. Despite keeping my sleep window strictly to five and a half hours over the last three months, there has been no change whatsoever. I go to bed about 11 30 but regularly awake between 3 30 and 4 00 a m, feeling ready to begin a new day. I am sure my brain is now programmed to behave in this way and I feel it’s nigh on impossible to change. (Not a good mindset, I know!!)
My insomnia has deteriorated from bad to worse over a number of years. Having tried absolutely everything, I am on the brink of starting a course of antidepressants. Even though I am not in favour and have struggled against taking such a powerful medication, I am at a point where I’m more concerned about the long term impact of insomnia as against the possible side effects of mirtazapine.
Regards
Phil (Philippa )
Hi Phil, Thanks for your message. Re training sleep can be tough, but change can happen with the right strategies, and if you feel you need to speak to your GP then please do so. There is a lot to unpick here, and it makes sense the way you are feeling – but it doesn’t mean it won’t change. We can help to do this as we have care coaches and sleep experts able to help you understand where you are at, why it’s not working, and how to change it for results.
I waken up several times every night..I am exhausted…
Another problem I have financially cannot afford to pay for help.
I understand your frustration. Sometimes sleep is not our main goal because we have other priorities to consider. It is always a cost benefit situation.
These articles are really interesting and helpful in understanding insomnia.
Hi Mary, thanks for the feedback:)
I definitely need help to reregulate my brain.
Come and join us Tracey – we can help with this. It won’t work over night, but we can help you see a change in just a matter of weeks!).
This exactly describes my sleep………I think it’s now a habit as I am through the menopause and not particularly stressed or worried…..I’d love to know how to fix it please!
Hi Victoria, chronic insomnia (whether caused by menopause or not) has only one evidence based treatment that can rid you of it – the official textbook name of this is CBTI (cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia). You can get some free versions of the textbook CBTI approach online or even at some GP surgeries. Stephanie created re:sleep to address the issues with these versions – very scientific but not very user friendly or sustainable, and therefore it’s difficult to replicate the results from the research studies in real life. We have the same science in our program, but Stephanie has adapted this over her career to tailor it more for humans and the messy up and down lives we live! We have lots of support on our program to coach you through as well.
I have roblems sleeping for about 10years now Has been worse over last 2years I hope you can help me
Kind Regards
Anne
Hi Anne, yes we have people on our program who have had this for decades – some their whole lives. We most certainly can help, and we have users who have already done our program and changed their sleep completely, and are on hand to answer questions too in our communities which is really nice because sometimes when you are going though a particularly bad night, it can be difficult to see through it, as well as our sleep experts who are on hand to help.
Hi
I’ve had insomnia for many years.
I just don’t no how to fall asleep?
I can be exhausted all day until about 10 at night then ping I’m fully awake, but my body is screaming for sleep.
Hi Paula, yes it’s like the body has switched everything around. We need to start re training your brain back the other way!
Hi, I also have deregulated sleep. I fall asleep fairly easily in about 15 to 2o minutes, after 11 but then wake up at 4. I tend to be on and off for the next 2 and half hour.
HI Sunil, yes this is one of the most common types of insomnia that we see. Sometimes even though the ability to sleep is there at the beginning, its so weak now that it can’t get us through the night. We need to build that drive so its more stable and strong and stops these limbo like sleeps and gaps through out the night.
I suffer from dysregulated sleep program for years now. Its exhousting.
Hi Darius, our users often tell us at the beginning of their re:sleep journey that it causes such a horrid ‘wake’ tired, where all they want is to sleep but that is lost so they are just left with this wakeful exhaustion and the ability to sleep feels so lost. But – another way to look at it is to remember that this dysregulated pattern is built over time – so just as its possible to go from a healthy sleep pattern to a dyregulated one, you can also switch it back over time.
Everything I’ve just read relates to me.
In fact you could have been describing me!!
Hi Sue, we have heard variations of this story from lots of our users for a long time, and then Siobhan puts it so eloquently here. That’s why Stephanie created this program – she kets hearing this from people that were supposedly getting treatment…which means the treatment was not getting to the root of the problem. She spent a long time investigating all the different components of insomnia, and started to understand more about how you fix them in real life, which life constantly changing! That’s what makes re:sleep so different from everything else, we don’t ask you to adapt to a one side fits all approach, we created a support community and team and tailored program so that we actually adapt around you. After all, even though this might sound like you, you have unique parts of your insomnia too that also need to be addressed.
This is me
Yes, it’s so very common, even though each person’s experience of it is very unique.
That sounds like me, I’ve tryed everything,for a while they work! But now it’s worse than ever! Sadly I reverted to tablets which I know was fatal, now I have to ween myself off them ,even though they only worked for an hour or so.Any help would be good.
Hi Jane, yes, I think a lot of people will resonate with what you are saying. Unfortunately a lot of the sleep industry sells coping strategies and quick short term fixes, rather than the actual solution. This is a problem as you end up in a bit of a vicious cycle and anxiety creeps in and makes you believe without the coping mechanisms things would be worse… when in reality they have just created a new component of your insomnia on top of your dysregulated sleep pattern… they have increased sleep anxiety… which is powerful. We help lots of people on our program in similar positions to you. You don’t have to be off the pills, but hopefully we can give you the confidence to eventually come off of them slowly and safely, because you learn how to sleep naturally without their use. Some people for other health reasons, cant come off the pills at all, and this is OK too. We can still improve sleep significantly!
I have had two concussions- summer 2021 – one a surfboard hitting the back of my skull above my neck, the following year a car crash. Now I have had intractable migraines that last for months and I can’t sleep anymore just when I most need it. I recently listened to a headache specialist and she couldn’t help with long term pain sleep issues…. So what would you recommend for someone regularly in migraine pain to sleep… I have throbbing head, nose, pressure in the head and I was already struggling with insomnia before the post concussion migraines….I can’t even get to sleep, let alone stay asleep. And I wonder if any sleep specialist can help someone sleep who is in pain?
Hi Rosie, thanks for your message.You have been through a lot. Chronic pain and sleep problems come hand in hand…if you get chronic pain you end up with two conditions, the pain and then the broken sleep. The interesting thing about sleep is even if the pain suddenly went away, because i’m assuming you have had the broken sleep for longer than 3 months, the underlying sleep strength is now gone… yes originally because of the pain….but now the dyregulated sleep pattern is built into the brain regardless of the pain. What we do is almost like reverse engineering. Of course we can’t get rid of the pain, but what if we could build sleep strength underneath it so that your sleep became your ally and despite some pain triggers, was mostly able to regulate itself and even if you do wake up, puts you back to sleep quicker and the quality of the sleep much better? Thats what we do at re:sleep…and it’s not magic its just simple sleep science, built into certain habits and routines over time that slowly re-train your brain to sleep. Once you’re on the program, we can help you through the tougher times too. You will most certainly get your usual migraines whilst on the program, so we can tailor the approach so that sometimes you move a little slower through the program, but still making progress, and sometimes we can speed you up when you are feeling good. We work with chronic pain and chronic illness sufferers a lot, because as you can imagine, its so common to get insomnia from these original triggers.
Really useful and reassuring, thank you. When you have been stuck in this cycle for a while you just believe that you cannot get out of it, you really have lost the ability to sleep. That wonderful thing that other people seem to do naturally just seems to be lost because the brain is on high alert. I am sure that this can be changed but I’m not sure if I am capable
Hi Claire, thanks for sharing. We know your capable because of how long you have managed with your insomnia – that is the very hardest thing to do. However, I completely understand what you mean – this way of thinking might be partly because unfortunately at the moment, the sleep medicine field is full or quick tricks and sleep hack solutions, often costing money…and when they dont’t work for you time and time again, it makes you lose faith in your own abilities…but what if it wasn’t you? What if it was them? You see most of the industry is made up of solutions for people who are already good sleepers trying to get that extra 1% gain…not very broken sleepers desperate to get rid of an actual sleep disorder. If your sleep is ruining your life, you are 100% ready for the scientific approach which works, because nothing is as challenging as having to out up with insomnia.
Can you please advise what is needed to remedy this? What was this lady advised to do as I am having exactly same issue?
Siobhan was one of our users. This is how she described her sleep to us before she started re:sleep. It’s built with the gold standard highly evidenced based CBTI approach, but a more fine tuned and tailoured approach as Stephanie found along the years that the habits and routines this type of treatment requires of you can be difficult in real, messy life. Our program is a hybrid model adapted to actual humans (rather than the textbook approach which is very one size fits all). Specifically looking at the dysregulated sleep program, we start by getting you to do little habits which remind your brain when to feel sleepy and when to feel awake (often this is very wonky in most users to start with). Once this is done, we then have to build a strong sleep pressure, to help fill in the gaps at night (the dysregulated pattern). Of course, there is more to it as there are other components of insomnia we have to address (the sleep anxiety for example, and many more) and just like with the dysregulated sleep pattern we give you tangible routines over time which are doable in real life. We have lots of support on our program, so if what we are asking doesn’t fit or isn’t compatible with the way you live, then we have adaptations. There is no way to not move forward, and we have the most wonderful community who move with you through the program!
This sounds like me.
Yes, unfortunately it resonates with so many. Tt’s one of the most common components of insomnia we see most regularly in our users at the beginning of the program.
My sleep is mostly in the morning & early afternoon at present, completely round the wrong way. I am way past Menopause (age 65 now) & take Zopiclone/Zimovane 3.75mg x3 at “night” before bed.
I have also had Bi-Polar disorder for most of my adult life & take Sodium Valproate & Lamotrigine for this.
My sleep pattern is at its worst ever, please help.
Hi Teresa, thanks for reaching out. I am so sorry you are going through this. As you have some other conditions which can affect the insomnia, I would suggest contacting Stephanie’s clinical team direct for one to one support at [email protected]. Another option is discuss with your GP if you are in the UK, just in case there are any other services that are available to you.
Good morning. I am interested in the program. Unfortunately I am not interested in doing this on line. I have ADHD and would like to se
Someone in person. Could you please advise me on how his . Many thanks Mel
You can see Stephanie or her team directly by contacting [email protected]. It’s also worth checking in with your local GP, to see if they offer any free programs.
I have known for a long time that my problem is dysregulated sleep pattern , makes total sense
Just like an alarm going of every night between 3/4 and I’m wide awake!
It’s so true – and it makes sense, your brain sees this as normal now. But, just like your sleep slowly changed to this ‘dysregulated’ sleep pattern, it can be changed again which is reassuring – it doesn’t have to be this way!
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Thanks we are glad its helpful for you:)
havent had a decent sleep for about 20 odd yrs n i always get up unrefreshed
Hi Mark, sorry to hear this. I hope when you are ready, you seek treatment because it really doesn’t have to be that way. Problem is, sleep re training isn’t as quick as the quick hacks you may have tried that promise big things and very quickly. Sleep re training takes a few weeks to see progress, and so you have to be ready to put the work in. We are here to help with that, we are all only human and we need all the support we can get right?! I for one may know a lot about sleep… but when it comes to other behavioural changes I need help just as much as the next person (especially at the gym!).
Sometimes I cannot get to sleep initially but mostly I sleep for about 90 minutes, wake to have a wee and that’s it for the rest ofnthe night. I may fall back asleep at 5 or 6am for an hour or so but it’s not a deep or restful sleep. I really need help to break the pattern. Many thanks.
Hi Gaye, yes and a common pattern at that. Interestingly it is not the wee break that causes the issue, as you can get up for the toilet, and go back to sleep… its the but after that has become the pattern. When you are ready, we are here to help. Head on over to the website where we will ask you some questions to make sure we are right for you and the timing is right for you. I look forward to seeing you Gaye!
Hi I haven’t had one full night’s sleep for over 40 yrs. My brain just won’t switch off . I suffer with stress & anxiety most of life but I won’t take medication. I have trouble getting off to sleep & when I do drift off I back awake 30 minutes later & it’s like this most of the night. I never feel refreshed in the morning & always have brain fog. Is there any hope for me. Kind regards Bmorris
Brenda I am so sorry it’s been so long that you have been suffering. We can absolutely help – we have a questionnaire on the website so you can tell us more about yourself to double check it is right for you. But some of our most common type of clients have had their sleep issue for decades, and have tried many medications. We are here for you when you are ready Brenda.
I like the sound of this. I have never been a good sleeper but currently I am in a very stressful situation and have stopped being able o sleep at all. Given this acute situation would I still be suitable for your program?
I would wait until you are out of the acute stage. Does that make sense? So stress has an initial phase where its a lot and its very new. Then as we move further away from the initial trigger it either goes away or it is still there/chronic, and the body has somewhat got used to it (not necessarily in a good way but it becomes the norm). We all have stress and various other issues in our lives, but always best to wait for the initial overwhelm to be over – if you recognise it as a normal situation for you then feel free to embark on the program, but if not be compassionate and give yourself a little time.
This article makes absolute sense. I have been having various different sleeping problems for the last 10 years and I am very excited to have joined this program now, with a view of solving them. I am putting my full belief into Stephanie and her program and I am really looking forward (I hope!) to it having a significant positive impact on my sleep pattern and sleep quality. Stephanie, thank you for putting together this program, which is so highly accessible to all of us – this resources I’ve watched and read so far have been very well put together and interesting!
Thank you for your feedback Helen. Approach the program with some kindness for yourself – so easy to go in head strong when you know its the right thing, but some pacing and kindness towards ourselves is needed (we will remind you of this on the program!). Above all, do reach out and use all of us as resources:)
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Thank you!
You are most welcome. Thank you for the feedback:)
I identify so well with the sleep patterns described. This has become more acute during the past 12months although it began 10 yrs ago when I retired from work.. Had a very stressful issue to deal with after my husband was diagnosed with altziemers & dementia. I have been anxious ever since.
Thanks for sharing Pauline, yes the brain unfortunately is not limited to learning positive things – even the things we don’t want – broken sleep, anxiety.. if there for long enough, can all be learnt. But the good news is they can be unlearnt, it’s just that we need to use something the brain will accept (re learning or re training) rather than quick fix tools which aren’t reaching and sorting the problem. That’s what we do here at re:sleep:)
I sometimes experience the disturbed sleep pattern above described but fortunately I can also sleep well most of the time. I am reading the relevant CBT-I literature and I would follow the precious advice given.
This is great to hear Catia! Sometimes, even when the symptoms have an unusual pattern or are cyclical/seasonal, a more holistic approach as you describe (CBTI – our re:sleep program) to your entire sleep is needed in order to improve the specific nights in question (i.e to fix the bad you have to target all nights of sleep not just the bad ones…).
You say “With a healthy “sleep program,” your brain slowly switches off into sleep when you go to bed, and keeps you asleep until your alarm clock wakes you up in the morning…”
But alarm clocks aren’t natural, they’re artificially waking a person up before their natural sleep cycle has ended. I am most likely to sleep well when I relax and follow my body’s rhythms, it’s when I start trying to force earlier bedtimes and waking up times that it becomes stressful?
Thanks for your comment! You’re absolutely right that alarm clocks are an artificial wake-up cue, and in an ideal world, we’d all be able to wake up naturally without them. However, for people with chronic insomnia, the situation is quite different. When someone has a disrupted sleep pattern, their natural rhythms have often become unreliable due to repeated disturbances, stress, or inconsistent sleep habits. Simply “listening to the body” in this state can reinforce irregular sleep-wake cycles, making things worse in the long run. To reset sleep and eventually reach a point where natural wake-ups are possible, we need an anchor—something that stabilises the internal body clock. This is where consistency is key. Setting a wake-up time (even if it requires an alarm at first) helps to establish a reliable circadian rhythm, allowing the body to regulate sleep more effectively over time. Historically, humans did sleep more in line with natural light cycles, but even before industrialisation, our sleep patterns weren’t completely free-form. We were entrained by the Earth’s rotation, seasonal light changes, and environmental cues. In the modern world—where work schedules, electricity, and social commitments interfere—relying purely on “listening to the body” is much harder.
Consistency is also crucial because many bodily processes—such as hormone release, digestion, and temperature regulation—depend on a stable circadian rhythm. If we wake up at different times every day, these processes become misaligned, often leading to more fatigue and discomfort.
So, while waking up naturally is a fantastic goal, getting there requires structure first—especially for those recovering from chronic insomnia. Once sleep becomes stable and self-sustaining, you may have the flexibility to adjust and follow your natural rhythms more freely. But until then, setting clear boundaries around sleep (even if it feels counterintuitive) is a necessary step in breaking the cycle of insomnia.
Hope that helps clarify!
Many stories I can resonate with. Mostbdays I fall asleep easily but then either wake up around 4am and the. Roll around for 2.5hrs or something wakes me up much earlier and then I am in and out of sleep the entire night.
Hi Florian, Yes a common story we hear too. If your sleep is not serving you I hope we can help when you are ready:)
I have chronic ME and since then have had sleep problems with periods of bad insomnia and then it gets better . I find it very hard to get to sleep and I wake up in the night and then can’t get back to sleep. I am beginning to understand what is happening now I am doing the programme ,. I am finding it hard to get up at the same time but I am doing it and it does set a rhythm to my day and I am already thinking about my sleep patterns more ,so thank you
Really appreciate you sharing this Margaret. It sounds like you’re making real progress, even with how tough things have been managing a chronic health condition alongside insomnia. Sticking with the wake-up time is a really big step and an important foundation, and it’s great to hear it’s helping you find some rhythm. What you’re doing really does make a difference, and it will keep building. Keep it up!
I get a lot of sleep anxiety, the beating heart, heightened body temperature, increased arousal. I also have been researching obsessively about sleep since my issues began. I would like to join the program but eill this program help me if my hyper arousal is so high? What do you think of Guy Meadows’ approach compared to regular CBTi? Are there aspects that can be combined?
Hi Alina. Our approach is more integrated, combining CBTi, ACT and behavioural sleep retraining for chronic insomnia, whether or not sleep anxiety is part of the picture. If you feel your difficulties are primarily related to sleep anxiety rather than a chronic sleep disorder, an ACT focused approach, such as the one at Guy’s, may be a better fit. However, if you do choose re:sleep, you’ll also have access to our support team, who can help you adapt the programme to your individual circumstances whenever needed, and live clinics with sleep specialists too.